Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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