4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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