My underwear smells like fireworks.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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