So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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