I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
