dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I smell stomach acid.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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