So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I am full of burrito and curiosity
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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