I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
