As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
