"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
