The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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