My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
