I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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