There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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