is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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