You can't motorboat a personality
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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