the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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