Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
