dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
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