i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
