Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
