Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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