I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
