i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Randomize
