So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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