So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
