Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
