I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
