Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
