Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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