so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
