Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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