walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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