Do you still have your period?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
