and next time when you feel me up, do it right
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
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