No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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