i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
