we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
