EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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