so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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