your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
