ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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