This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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