You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize