whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
