i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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