I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Randomize
