Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
