my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
