Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
