just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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