The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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