Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize