you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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