Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
