Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
