The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
