I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
