btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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